Link and Meddy's Insane Journey Through Hyrule
by NinetailsGirl09
Summary: Meddy's a weird girl with a voice in her head that makes her go in a swirling vortex to get some drugs. She has a costume change, finds the voice is a fairy, meets Link and his loud fairy. They journey together in this 'magical' world to try and save it.
1. A 'Slightly' Screwed Up Prolouge

**Yes it's another new fic (Avoids gunfire) I've been meaning to do this one for a while and I'm still working on OWUA's rewrite and HPaTSE's plot at the moment. So Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I own the OCs, that's all. **

**Warning: This has drug-references, sexual-references, crude humor, homosexual comments, face-palming, vague crossovers, cursing, and more random crap. **

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"Meddy, I'll be right back so don't move okay?" Meddy doesn't actually get to respond as her father disappears from sight almost immediately after saying this.

So she settles for draping herself across the bench in watching some scantily dressed women wave a few men over.

_'**He needs to be a better parent, then maybe you won't have a voice in your head**'_ The mentioned voice thought to the small girl. She nodded in agreement, watching the women press themselves against the men.

**_'What are you watching'_** The voice asked in annoyance, feeling suffocated by the curiosity she was feeling. The voice looked through her eyes and then started screeching to avert them. She did to shut him up and instead saw two lights flutter into a alley with a plastic bag between them.

Meddy, not caring that her father told her not to move, when to see what they were. The voice demanded to know what they were doing but she ignored it and peered into the grimy pathway.

"This weed is heavy!" One light complained.

"The Great Deku Tree wants his drugs dammit! So suck it up and carry!" The other shouted.

"Your not even helping!"

"Just fly through the spinning vortex!" They went into the spinning vortex, which Meddy didn't notice till just now.

**_'Meddy' _**The voice started. **_'I normally would tell you not to go into spinning vortexs but... GET ME SOME OF THAT WEED DAMMIT!"_**

The little girl walked into the portal, knowing the voice would bug her until she got him some of the illegal drug.

About two hours later, her dad remembered he was supposed to get Meddy and found her gone. He later forgot again on his way to the police station.

**

* * *

Meddy is 9 to 10 with knee-length blackish-brown hair, dull bronze skin, icy blue-gray eyes, and 5"0, very short if you don't know what the numbers mean. She wears a black jacket, blue-plaid skirt, blue-and-black stockings, and knee-high black boots, a very weird looking girl ain't she? **

**Her dad, never before seen in any previous fic and is only getting to be in the first and last chapters, wears a fancy black coat, black dress pants, a silk white top, and fancy sunglasses. He has pale skin, black chin-length hair, a goatee, and gray eyes, looks barely anything like his daughter.**

**The voice in Meddy's head cause by her father's rather scarring parenting skills. He is basically described as a black silhouette with a large grin and demanding attitude by Meddy. He appears as a... well you'll see.**


	2. Meet Link the Somewhat Stupid Blond

**First real chapter, Enjoy!**

**Warning: There's drug-references, sexual-references, child labor, psychotic fairies, dumb blonds, bad jokes, ignoring of important events, cursing, whiny trees, decapitation of annoying midgets, and more in this story.

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Meddy face-planted on the ground.

The voice laughed above her in obvious amusement at her pain.

Above her... Meddy quickly rolled onto her back, expecting a black silhouette to be floating in the air.

There was nothing but a black light. She looked around, then back at the light. It seemed to be making the same laugh as the voice. Meddy produced a flyswatter from nowhere and smacked the light against a random tree. The light screamed in the voice's er... voice.

So by, somewhat faulty, logic the light was the voice from her head. Nodding her head, Meddy dusted herself off and noticed her outfit had changed. She was wearing a black tunic with a black belt, baggy black leather pants, and her black boots.

Hearing the voice groan, she walked over to the tree to look at him. The black light fluttered shakily forward and landed on her head.

"Ah, I'm a black light." He said dully, twitching on her skull. "I'm freaked, no seriously. Now go to that treehouse over there so the plot keeps moving." He somehow pointed the house out for her.

* * *

In his primitive house, Link snored, oblivious to the fairy that was ready to smash him over the head with a hammer.

"WAKE UP!" Navi screeched at him, but Link continued to sleep.

"Throw a rock at the damn window or something." The voice could be clearly heard from the house. The fairy was too distracted to hear it or notice the small pebble flying pass it.

"Oh _wow,_ that was amazing!" The voice sarcastically and loudly commented. The 'swish' of a flyswatter was heard, followed by a 'smack' and a 'fucking hell!'

Navi pulled out a giant mallet from nowhere and brought it back to slam it on the blond's head. A boulder crashed through the small window and hit the insane fairy, sending out the door.

Link yawned and pushed himself out of bed.

"Is someone there?" He asked, completely obvious to the giant holes, and Navi, who was screaming loudly in pain from his front yard. He put on his green hat and leaned out the window to looked down at Meddy and her insane voice-turned-fairy from his spot.

"Hi!" He waved happily, either oblivious to or ignoring the fact they had pretty much wrecked part of his house. Meddy just flopped her hand in an attempt to wave and the voice flipped him off, no one could even tell though because he's a light.

Link jumped out the window, feet facing the ground, but somehow face-planted despite it. Meddy held up the flyswatter in a silent threat toward the voice. Brushing himself off, Link skipped toward Meddy and shook her hand.

"Hi! I'm Link!" He introduced.

"Hello, She's Meddy and I'm... err, Yzarc. We're looking for a giant tree with weed." Yzarc replied, fluttering down from Meddy's head.

_"Yzarc?" _She mouthed, watching the blond get distracted by a butterfly.

_"Backwards" _He mouthed back. Meddy furrowed her brows briefly and then face-palmed. Yzarc cackled, but quieted down when Link turned back toward them.

"I know the Great Deku Tree is giant, but I don't think he has any weeds, the ground around him is well keep." Link said, Yzarc snickered briefly, but stopped when the flyswatter came up.

"Will you take us there?" He asked in his 'innocent voice', which made him sound high-pitched and squeaky. Meddy hid an amused smirk with her hand.

"Sure!" Link started to walk away and the two followed him.

* * *

In Link's front yard, Navi had escaped from under the boulder and was cursing under her breath. When she saw Link, she flew right in front of his face and bellowed.

_**"HEY LISTEN!" **_Everyone in the world and the next one cringed at the horrible noise in horror and terror. Everyone in the village when temporary deaf, including Link, Meddy, and Yzarc so they heard nothing of Navi's rant but the very end.

"... Now let's go to the Great Deku Tree!" She said, and the trio blinked.

"Okay! Thanks for taking us!" Link said with a goofy grin.

"No probl- Wait! Who are you two?" The fairy pointed at the dimension hoppers.

"Meddy and Yzarc, we're here to meet your leader. You just said you'd take us there." The black fairy explained, do the Jedi mind Trick hand motion. Navi's eyes clouded over briefly and she repeated the last sentence in a droning flat voice.

"Okay, let's go." The white fairy fluttered away and they followed. They walked pass the green-haired girl Saria, who was still recovering from the Scream of Deafness.

They were about walk on the path when Mido, a snobbish ugly midget bastard, shoved Link back.

"You can't pass because you have no fairy! Your a worthless piece of crap because you don't have one and one would never even consider coming to you! And even if you did have one you still wouldn't be allowed without a sword and shield! And there are no swords in the forest so HA!" He screamed at them, failing to notice Meddy pull out a jar and capture his fairy before helping Link up.

"Thanks." Link sniffed. "Could you you help find me a sword?" Link looked at her with teary eyes and Meddy twitched briefly.

"Here kid, just take this sword Meddy found earlier." Yzarc said, the girl produced the Kokiri Sword from her pockets.

"Where did you find that?" Navi asked in shock while Link inspected the blade.

"Same place as the boulder." The black fairy told her, before flying far away. Navi floated there for a few seconds before realizing what he said and shooting after him.

Meddy and Link ignored the sounds of painful violence and went toward the shop.

* * *

Link waited outside for a few minutes before Meddy carefully exited the shop with her arms behind their back. She made sure no one was looking before passing him a shield. They then walked quickly away before the shopkeeper realized he had been robbed.

"You stupid bastard! I said you can't pass you worthless piece of sh-" Link chopped Mido's head off before he could finish his sentence.

Every person had seen it but no one tried to arrest the two for killing him.

That's what happens when your a giant asshole.

* * *

Link and Meddy walked into the Deku Tree's clearing with Meddy duck taping a small knife to a Deku Stick.

"Duck tape, it can do anything, from securing spears to being bandages." Heavily-bandaged Yzarc said, flying pass the two with Navi.

"Great Deku Tree! I'm back with Link and two visitors!" Navi cried to the big ass tree with giant eyebrows and a giant mustache.

"I think I only wanted the blond kid but whatever. Link and co.! I need you to gather your courage! A wicked man was put a curse on me and if it is not lifted I will die. I need you to journey into my body to find the cause of my ailment and destroy it! Will you help me?"

Link opened his mouth to say 'yes', but Yzarc knocked him out of the way.

"We'll only help if you give us some weed!" The black light shouted. The Deku Tree's demeanor changed instantly.

"What! No fucking way! It's my weed! You hear me? MY WEED!" The tree screamed at them.

"Then we'll wait for you to die and take the weed from your dead body." Yzarc screamed back.

"Grr! Fine!" A plastic bag stuffed with weed fell in front of them. "Now get moving!" The Deku Tree then opened his mouth.

Yzarc pocketed the weed and flew in, Navi going after him to kick his ass, with Link and Meddy leisurely following after the irritated fairy.

**

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Will Meddy ever talk? Will Navi actually be useful? How can Meddy being pulling things from her pockets if she doesn't have any? Will Link's tunic be made fun of? What will happen to Mido's fairy?**

**Find out next time on _Unforgott_- I mean_ Meddy and Link's Insane Journey! _**

**_Edited on Feb 24, 2011  
_**


	3. Annoying Voices, Bosses, and Evil Owls

**I actually updated consistently, le gasp! Enjoy the story.**

**Disclaimer: I own Meddy, Yzarc, and the idea of Mido's fairy's behavorior. That's all. **

**Warning: There is drug-references, sexual-references, cursing, stupid humor, druggie fairies, banshee fairies, pryo fairies, clueless blonds, stoic brunettes, large spiders, completing ignoring the actually way your suppose to go through dungeons in this story, and annoying voices from the sky.

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Link and Meddy were poking at a spider web covering a large hole while waiting for Navi to finish kicking Yzarc's ass.

They did this for about ten minutes before Meddy got tried of waiting for them and pulled out out a match.

"What's that?" Link asked, but she ignored him and lit it before tossing at the web, which quickly burned away.

She strained her eyes until she saw the water at the bottom, then stepped over the edge. A loud 'splash' echoed up to Link a couple minutes later. The blond looked at the hole then at the fairies then the hole then jumped down after the brunette.

Meddy had waded onto land after she landed, so he quickly when over to her. Only to watch her to jump and climb up onto a much higher piece of land. Link watched her walk away and blinked when a large block being moved toward the edge.

One more shove made it fall and gave Link a path up. He scampered up next to his strong companion and noticed another web-covered hole. Meddy quickly burned it too and they hopped down together.

Landing with a loud splash, they resurfaced next to each other before swimming toward land. They moved for the door but some enemies popped out of some shrubs and started shooting. The kids blocked with their shields but didn't really know what to do now. Meddy suddenly snapped her fingers and shuffled back toward the water, so Link hesitantly followed.

When the monsters went back into the shrubs, Meddy pulled a jar out of her pocket, the one with Mido's fairy. She quickly opened the lid, only to have the orange light tackle her in joy.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" It chanted. "I'm Fado! I hated that little bastard Mido, but he put a spell that kept mo from leaving him! But you killed him and broke it! I will help you as a sign of my gratitude!"

_**Fado the Fairy has joined your party!**_

Link and Meddy stared at the ceiling where the voice and music came from and just decided to ignore it. They put up their shields again and moved toward the door, only to get shot at again.

"Mad Shrubs!" Fado cried. "I'll handle this with my flamethrower!" He pulled a miniature flamethrower from nowhere and burned the pests to ash. The kids stared at the crazy fairy and slowly walked toward the now open door.

* * *

Back upstairs, Navi had finally finish kicking Yzarc's ass, only to find the two kids had gone on long ago.

She cursed loudly.

* * *

The two kids and one fairy had walked in, only to have the door slam down behind him. They all looked around until they saw a large eye in the darkness of the room. A large scorpion... spider... mutant thing dropped in front of them.

_**QUEEN GOHMA**_

_**PARASITIC ARMORED ARACHNID**_

_**WEAKNESS: EYE**_

_**HOW TO RECRUIT: CRACK HER EXOSKELETON **_

"If we crack it's exoskeleton she'll join us?" Link shouted. "This will be easy!"

He rolled out of the way of her pincher and started beating her with his sword. It didn't even scratch it and Link screamed when she turned and started to maul him. Fado head butted Gohma, but she didn't even look up from her attack.

Meddy tried stabbing her. No reaction. She hit the boss with the shaft in frustration. A large crack appeared.

Gohma roared before turning and looming over the short girl.

"YOU HAVE CRACKED MY PROTECTIVE SHELL! A FEAT NO HERO HAS EVER DONE BEFORE! FOR THIS I SHALL ASSIST IN YOUR QUEST!"

**_Queen Gohma has join your party!_**

Link, Meddy, and Gohma stared at the ceiling. "DOES THAT ALWAYS HAPPEN?" The reformed boss asked in her loud voice.

"The first time it happen was thirty seconds ago outside this door so no clue." Gohma smashed her tail on the still downed blond. "OH GOD!"

"I WAS ASKING THE GIRL YOU STUPID BLOND!" Link groaned and managed to push himself upright despite the broken bones. A heart container landed on his head and knocked him out before a blue portal appeared. Meddy just pocketed the item and dragged the green-clad boy toward the blue light. Gohma and Fado followed obedientlyt.

* * *

They appeared before the Deku Tree, who was watching Navi and Yzarc make-out, no one but the lights could distinguish that fact though.

"HEY!" At Link's voice they jerked away and looked at the group. "We took care of the problem."

"You were suppose to kill it." The Deku Tree said, glaring at Gohma.

"Recruiting it was easier. But at least you won't die now." The Deku Tree coughed. "You aren't going to die, right?"

"It turns out that some weed I smoked had a fungus that decays wood some I am going to die after all. But I'm going to to tell you who it was who put the curse on me in the first place."

"A wicked man from the desert came here and asked for the royal treasure that was given to me to protect long ago. I was extremely high and didn't like his tone so I said no and he cursed me, the bastard." The Great Deku Tree used magic to put a image of the man riding a black stead through a flaming pathway with lightning flashing in the background. "He wanted the treasure because it would give him access to the Sacred Realm, where the Triforce is."

"What a Triforce?" Link asked. He was ignored by the druggie tree.

"Go to Hyrule castle and meet with Princess Zelda, she can tell you..." The Tree fell silent and the group watched him turn gray. A green stone fall from his branches at Link's feet and he picked it up.

_**You got the Kokiri Emerald!**_

They all stared at the sky before trudging out of the clearing.

A few hours later he started speaking again. "...Sorry I fell asleep. I was saying that Zelda knows more then I do but I'll tell you what... wait where are you all?"

* * *

"Stop!" Mido's ghost held out his hand but they all walked through him. The Kokiri villagers fled in terror when they saw Gohma and Fado. They managed to the other end of the area with only two people eaten and five houses burnt down.

They had made their way across the bridge and were about to leave the forest when-

"Your leaving aren't you?" They turned around and saw Saria had teleported on the bridge. Link walked over to her with the others watching.

"I knew you'd leave someday but it's fine." She smiled at her him. "We always be friends! Here take this ocarina!" Saria pressed it into his hands.

_**You have obtained the Fairy Ocarina!**_

They all ignored the voice. "I have a song that will let us talk no matter where we are." She softly sang an upbeat song and, after screwing up a lot, Link managed to play it.

_**You have played Saria's Song!**_

"Shut up!" Navi screamed at the sky.

"I hope that I'll think of me whenever you play this ocarina." Link, not knowing how to respond to that, turned and run off. The others followed and Saria watched them go.

_**Link and Meddy's party have left Kokiri Forest!**_

"SHUT UP DAMMIT!" Saria screamed at the sky.

* * *

The group walked outside only now Meddy was riding on Gohma's back, Link was tied to a pole that the former boss was carrying, and the fairies were playing poker on the blond's head.

"How did we end up in this situation?" Link asked, only for Gohma to impaled his chest. "SON OF A RUTO!"

"What's a Ruto?" Yzarc asked.

"Dunno know, probably something horrible." Navi replied. "Royal Flush!"

The male fairies grumbled and handed over their money. They group was almost to the end when-

"HOOT! I am-" Meddy's spear impaled Kaepora Gaebora's skull.

"Meddy! Why'd you do that?" Link cried.

"It must have been evil. Or a pedophile. Or both. Meddy on impales people if there either one or both."

"HOOT!" They froze and looked at the owl who was fine despite the spear sticking out of his skull. "I am-" He was impaled again.

"Run you spider, scorpion, mutant thing! RUN!" Gohma did and they group raced across Hyrule Field, over the bridge, up the stairs to Kakoriko Village, through the village, trampled over the guard, burst through the gate, charged up the path, and stopped at a large boulder. Gohma panted while the other recovered from witnessing from the encounter with self-necromancy owl.

"That was close." Fado said. "Let's hope we never will deal with that again."

They all nodded in agreement.

**_Meddy and Link's party have arrived at Death Mountain!_**

**"SHUT UP!"** They all roared at the sky, expect for Meddy who flipped it off.

**

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Party:**

**Leader: Meddy  
Wears: Black tunic, baggy black pants, black boots, black belt  
Looks: Tan bronzish skin with blackish-brown hair, icy blue-gray eyes, and a 5"0 stature  
Likes: Black, strange friends, music, being a mysterious silent person  
Dislikes: Anything she doesn't like, Yzarc, her dad, Kaepora Gaebora  
**

**Other Leader: Link  
Wears: Green tunic, white tights, brown boots, green hat, black belt  
Looks: Fair skinned with gold blond hair, wide blue eyes, and a 5"0 and a half stature  
Likes: Saria, the ocarina, killing annoying people, being a hero  
Dislikes: Mido, annoying people, Kaepora Gaebora  
**

**Sane Person: Navi  
Wears: Nothing?  
Looks: Like a white light  
Likes: Being right  
Dislikes: Everything else  
**

**Lazy Bastard: Yzarc  
Wears: Nothing  
Looks: Like a black light  
Likes: Cracking jokes, making fun of Meddy, being an ass  
Dislikes: Kaepora Gaebora, losing  
**

**Helpful Fanatic: Fado  
Wear: Nothing?  
Looks: Like a orange light  
Likes: Fire, serving Meddy  
Dislikes: No fire, Mido, Kaepora Gaebore  
**

**Royal Female Muscle: Gohma  
****Wears: Nothing  
Looks: Like a spider/scorpion/mutant thing with one eye  
Likes: Being queen, harming Link, doing stuff for Meddy, eating  
Dislikes: Link, Kaepora Gaebora  


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**

**On those poor souls.**

**Will Meddy speak? Will the heroes recruit more bosses? Will they actually get the next spiritual stone before they go to Hyrule Castle? Will Link's dress be made fun of soon? Why does Gohma hate Link and like Meddy? Why is Fado a pyromaniac? Will Navi and Yzarc make out again instead of helping? Why won't Kaepora Gaebore the evil pepo owl die? Why are Deku Sticks more over-powered then Light Arrows? Why I'm I asking you these questions?**

**Fine out next time on _Unfor- Meddy and Link's Insane Journey!_**

**_Edited on Feb. 24, 2011  
_**


	4. Meddy Does Everything

**Two updates in one day? It's impossible! Or not so enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I own Meddy, Yzarc, Fado the Fairy's behavior, and that's it.**

**Warning: This has drug references, sexual-references, bad jokes, crude humor, giant mutants, blonds, Meddy, and a bunch of other stuff.

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The group had calmed down after twenty minutes and realized they had no clue where they were. They decided to move the giant rock blocking this cave but were having some trouble.

"I won't budg-" The royalty bashed his skull in. " OH GOD!"

"I WILL MOVE IT YOU STUPID BLOND FOR I AM GOHMA!" The former boss roared. "HURGH! IT'S A STUBBORN ROCK!"

"I'll help!" Fado blasted the rock, and the two next to it, with fire.

"AHHHHH! I'M ON FIRE!"

"I'LL KILL YOU LIGHT BULB!"

"Yzarc do something to help you lazy ass!" Navi nagged, watching the scene with popcorn

"I'm trying to read porn so no." Came his respond.

Meddy felt a vein pulse on her forehead, looks like it be a Meddy-centric chapter.

The brunette took Link's bag without him noticing before turning on her heel and continuing up the mountain alone.

* * *

So far Meddy was making good time, occasionally having to stop smack the jumping blue monsters off the mountain with her arm. The sound of sometime crashing down the path made her pause, and she strained her eyes to see what it was.

A large rock was _bouncing _down the path. Meddy took a second to marvel at the idiotic-ness of this place before punching the rock into the ground.

The brunette nearly stabbed it when it groaned and unrolled into a bald, naked, brown thing.

"That was a good hit, goro." It said. "You knocked my back into place again, goro. As a thank you, take these magic steel gauntlets, goro. They'll keep you hands from getting so busted up, goro."

Confused, Meddy glanced at her hands and blinked at the black and purple bruise covering them. Nodding her thanks to the thoughtful creature, she slipped on the gauntlets which readjusted to her size, 1/3 the size they formerly were. The thing walked behind her and rolled off again.

**_Meddy has obtained the Steel Gauntlets!_**

She flipped the sky off again and continued up the mountain.

* * *

The small girl had found a large cave that the brown things apparently lived in. She met a tour guide who explained the history of their race, The Gorons, how they settled here, and their current problem.

"A boulder is blocking the cave that our food source was located in. But this wicked man from the desert came here and demanded the treasure that our leader, Darunia, had. He refused and the man infested the cave with evil monsters then sealed it off and only will undo his vile deed for the treasure." The tour guide told her. "Well this is the end of the tour, right in front of the rock that goes to Darunia's room. Thank you for taking Goron Tours."

He rolled off and Meddy looked at the stone, then knocked on it. It crumbled to pieces immediately from the magical enhanced strike, so she just when in.

She saw a buff Goron with his back turned in the chamber. She clapped her hands together to get his attention. Nothing. She tried kicking a rock at his head. Nothing. She hit him with a 2x4. Still nothing. She shot him with a pistol. **Still **Nothing. She blew a air horn into a megaphone. That did it, he turned to look at her.

"WHO EVER YOU ARE I'M NOT GOING TO TALK TO YOU BECAUSE I'M IN A HORRID MOOD. I'LL ONLY BE USEFUL IF YOU PLAY AN UPBEAT SONG!" He turned around again.

Meddy stared at him while then pulled out Link's ocarina.

She tested the different notes and then, after a few tries, managed to play Saria's Song.

Darunia suddenly jerked around and started dancing, freaking out Meddy so bad she stopped playing.

"PLAY OR I'LL KILL YOU!" She immediately complied, closing her eyes so she wouldn't see his dancing. He stopped after dancing for thirty minutes straight.

"I haven't felt this giddy in years! I assume your a hero that is trying to break the evil curse on the cave!" Meddy nodded, confused on how he knew that. "The only way in is by bombing the boulder! Take this! It will allow you to lift Bomb Flowers!" He gave her a pair of gold bracelets.

**_You have obtained the Goron Bracelets!_**

Darunia stared at the ceiling while Meddy flipped it off.

"Does that always happen?" He asked, Meddy grimly nodded.

* * *

Walking outside, the brunette found the Bomb Flowers he told her about. Peering over the edge, she saw the other were _still _fighting and felt her vein pulse again

She then smirked evilly and yanked the plant up before tossing it over. And again when it grew back. And again. And again.

* * *

The others were screaming at each other when something hit them on the heads.

The all looked around and noticed the piles of lit Bomb Flowers around them.

"Oh shi-"

Everyone in Hyrule looked up when they heard the giant explosion and the faint screams of agony from Death Mountain.

* * *

Meddy walked passed the group, which was being revived by several fairies.

"OH GOD IT BURNS! KILL US!" They shrieked when they finished their jobs and all burst into flames. She ignored them and just waited patiently by the entrance.

"Wow Meddy! You must be really fast if you got out of the bomb range." Link remarked when he saw her after he came back to life. "Cool gauntlets by the way."

Meddy handed him his bag and the Goron Bracelets before walking in the dungeon.

"OUT OF MY WAY!" Gohma punted Link into the wall and went in.

"Wait for me!" Fado flew after her, with Yzarc and Navi behind him.

Link groaned and stumbled into the wall a few times before going in as well.

* * *

**Meddy must have good memory to remember a song only successful played once on a instrument she's barely touched before. She also has a new weapon! Hurray!**

**Will the group go through the dungeon like they're suppose to? (coughnocough) Will Navi's useful ability be reveiled next chapter? When will the jokes about Link's tunic start? Will another boss join them? Is Meddy ever going to talk?**

**Find out next time on _Un- Meddy and Link's Insane Journey! _**

**_Edited Feb. 24, 2011  
_**


	5. Perverts, Death Hugs, and New Characters

**Man I'm writing these chapters and getting them up so fast! This has never happened before! Anyways, enjoy the story.**

**Disclaimer: I own Meddy, Yzarc, Fado the Fairy's personality and nothing more. Miss Alphawolfy28 was nice and gave me some people to add to the group, but I don't need anymore people, thank you for submitting them though.  
**

**Warning: This chapter contains sexual references, hurt blonds, pyros with access to bombs, glowing blue lights, perverted lizards, and more.

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**

The group looked at the wall in their way.

"Now what?" Fado asked, only for Gohma to smash the wall just as he spoke. They stared at her for a while, then turned their attention to the new room.

"What a big skull." Link observed. Gohma punted him into the lava for talking. "I HATE YOU!"

Meddy tapped the queen and gestured to a high ledge. The mutant threw her up there, were she landed with a 'thud.' Fado was then thrown into the wall up there with her.

Link crawled out of the lava only to be punted up to the ledge. He crashed into the same wall Fado was stuck to.

The brunette pushed herself up and noticed a tablet nearby. She tried to read it but it looked like a bunch of gibberish so she retrieved the two natives from the wall to translate.

"I can't read." Link told her. Meddy pushed him off the ledge for being useless. "I HATE YOU TOO!"

"It says if the skull sees red then we can go on." Fado said, then asked in a creepy high-pitched voice. "Can I _light _the eyes on _fire_?"

Meddy nodded. A minute later two mini fire tornadoes were spinning from the sockets. The brunette stared at them, then the psychotic fairy, then jumped down onto Link.

"GAH!" The injured blond was quickly thrown onto Meddy's back so the strange group could continue on. The new room had a padlocked, bar-covered door on one side and a passage way on the other.

"This is very easy." Navi said with slight disbelieve, watching the spider queen rip the bars off the boss door.

"The guy who made the place probably wasn't expecting a giant monster to be helping the adventurers." Yzarc replied, as Gohma ate the giant padlock on it with it's... with something.

* * *

They walked into a square room that had a crack in the middle of the floor and a chest against the wall. Link ran over and opened it.

"Look! It's filled with bombs!" The blond held one up to show them, Fado shot over and smashed him into the wall, taking the bomb as he did.

"My precious~!" The orange light hissed, diving into the chest. Gohma started to go over to restraint to crazy pyro, only to step on the crack and fall through the weak floor.

The queen landed in a large cavern with a large pit of lava in the middle. Several thumps shook the cavern and the room above it, getting the attention of the heroes who weren't gushing and knocked out.

Gohma turned and two fairy flying down next to her, while Meddy angled herself on the hole's edge to get a look. A giant ass lizard made it's way toward the spider and let loose a deafing roar.

**_KING DODONGO_**

**_INTFERNAL DINOSAUR_**

**_WEAKNESS: BOMBS BEING THROWN IN HIS MOUTH AND HIGH PITCH NOISES  
_**

**_HOW TO RECRUIT: GIVE HIM A BLOWJOB_**

They all stared at the floating words in shock.

"WE HAVE TO GIVE IT A BLOWJOB TO MAKE IT JOIN US?" Navi shouted. "SCREW THAT! KILL THIS PERVERTED FUCKER!"

Gohma jumped on it's back and tried to stab Dodongo with it's pincher, only for him to buck her into the lava.

"IT BURNS LIKE A STD!" She screamed, quickly wading onto land. She then scurried up the wall to avoided the dino's fire breath, who leered at her... ass?

Meddy watched the chase then noticed the words again,which were slowly floating upwards. She waved her arm frantically at the fairies, getting Yzarc's attention who flew up to her.

"What?" He asked somewhat harshly. She pointed at the words, then Navi, then brought her hand next to her head and opened her mouth. It took a few minutes until he realized what she was trying to tell him.

"Got it!" He flew back toward the blue light.

* * *

Gohma was in a corner with the perverted Dodongo ready to roast her.

"I'll give you one chance to become my sex slave and avoid this painful death." He said in a sleazy voice with a leer. Gohma somehow flipped him off.

He glared, sucked in his breath and...

"NOW!"

Suddenly a shriek that shook the roof, the ground, and made everyone in Hyrule go deaf suddenly echoed from behind him. King Dodongo was instantly knocked out while the ceiling broke and send the other members of the group tumbling into the cavern.

They all waited for the deafness to wear off before turning to see what caused the noise. Navi was much brighter then normal and had Yzarc, wearing a pair of earmuffs, fluttering next to her.

"Good job Navi!" Link praised. Gohma raised a pincher again but, just like last time, a piece of heart dropped from the ceiling and knocked him out before she could.

Meddy pocketed the treasure and dragged the blond into the blue portal that suddenly appeared next to her, the rest following after.

* * *

They all magical appeared outside the cavern.

"Do you hear something?" Link asked, no longer knocked out.

Something crashed behind them and send them flying into the dirt. They all pushed themselves up and saw Darunia standing there.

"Hello again young heroine! These must be your comrades! I am Darunia!" He cried, the rest of the group stared at the brunette, who pointedly ignored them. "Thanks to you well can eat the delicious rocks from this cavern till our stomachs burst!"

He gained a thoughtful look. "It will make a incredible story..." His expression turned furious. "Damn that Gerudo thief Ganondorf to the Dark Realm for infesting the cavern and blocking it! He said would only undo his actions if I gave him the Spiritual Stone of Fire!" He looked at the rag-tag group of weirdos. "You, on the other hand, risked your life for us... I like you kids! How would you like to became my sworn brother and sister?"

"Bi-polor much?" Navi muttered to Yzarc at the rapid changes in topic.

"There's no big ceremony, just take this." He showed them a red stone that the two kids reached out and took.

**_You have obtained the Goron's Ruby!_**

"SHUT UP!" The heroes shouted, except for Meddy.

"That's gets annoying very fast." Darunia said, looking for the source of the voice. "Anyways, everyone! Let's see our sworn brother and sister off!"

More Gorons dropped down from the cliff and the kids started shuffling backwards.

"You did great! How bout a big Goron hug?" They walked over to them, arms apart and the two did the most sensible thing.

Turn tail and _get the hell out of there!_

Another dropped in front of them, so they ran up the mountain.

And up.

And up.

And up.

* * *

And up until they reached the top. They both panted, Link looking worse for wear compared to Meddy, and looked around. There was a unblocked cave to their left so they when in.

They found themselves in a cave with a marble pathway that had water on both sides and a raised fountain. They looked around the whole room but didn't even notice the extra occupant watching them from the entrance.

She was a teen, with pale skin, blue eyes, brown hair in a ponytail, and nine orange fox tails. She hit herself on the head as she watched them and snapped her fingers.

Zelda's Lullaby played and a flash of light caused the heroes to cover there eyes. They looked to see what caused the flash but Meddy slapped a hand over Link's eyes before he saw.

The Great Fairy was before them, long pink hair floating behind her and with nothing but golden vines and a pair of combat boots covering her body.

"Welcome Meddy and Link!" She was either ignoring Meddy's evil glare and oblivious to it. "I am the Great Fairy of Power! I am going to grant you a sword and fist technique! Recive it now!" She unfolded her arms and spread them toward the two, little white specks flying at them and a orange glow surrounded the two.

"I have a friends at Hyrule Castle that you should drop by and see when your in the neighborhood." She told them. "She will grant you another power! When battle has made you weary please come back and see me."

She disappeared and Meddy uncovered Link's eyes. He blinked but didn't say anything as they walked back outside. They completely ignored the girl who was leaning against the marble wall and went out.

They looked back down the mountain, still oblivious to the girl behind them.

"Now what?" Link asked, Meddy shrugged. The girl started to wave her hands but the sound of flapping made her pause. She turned and saw Kaepora Gaebora flying toward them mountain top. Eyes going wide, she waved her hands in a complex motion, then snapped her fingers.

The two vanished, and the girl jumped off the cliff to avoid the owl, who looked extremely pissed off and dived after her.

* * *

The heroes reappeared in front of the rest of the group, who jumped at the sudden arrive.

"Let's get going to see the Princess!" Link said, Gohma once again raised her pincher but Meddy gave the queen a look that made her stop.

They walked through the town, burning one house with no eaten villagers. High above them, the girl was stretched out on a cloud and watching them leave. With a mischievous smile she snapped her fingers.

_**Link and Meddy's Party have left Death Mountain!**_

"**SHUT UP**" They all, except Meddy, roared in rage. The girl giggled in slightly sadistic glee.

"I love screwing with the characters."

* * *

**New Character:**

**Plot Checker: ****Foxy**  
**Wears: Beanie with Sonic's face, a baggy XX-L shirt with Sonic's face and name, baggy workout pants, fleece socks, and Harry Potter-style glasses**  
**Looks**: **Pale skinned with brown hair in a ponytail, gray-blue eyes, a 5"6 stature, and nine orange fox tails**  
**Likes: Screwing with the characters, making crazy scenarios, being annoying  
Dislikes: Kaepora Gaebora, seriousness, racist jokes, being mistake for the author  
**

**

* * *

**

**Hey look! It's the plot checker, who makes sure the characters are at lease loosly following the story!**

**Will Meddy talk? Will I get to making fun of Link's outfit eventually? Will the group detour again? Why weren't parents more outraged at the Great Fairies' appearances? They look like prostitutes! Would anyone like to beta for me?  
**

**Find out next time on _Meddy and Link's Insane Journey! _**

**_Edited Feb. 24, 2011  
_**


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